Routine Bedtime Rituals

E- Each night around 7:30 begins the same way. After reviewing that we all sleep in the same house we slowly make our way back to the master suite that belongs to our parents. Once standing in their space our Dad begins pointing at the beds and chairs and asks who sleeps where. For whatever reason and without warning he will decide that he needs to sleep in the recliner instead of his bed. Since the bedtime regimen is just beginning I generally ignore this immediate request for the recliner and redirect with teeth brushing. But I am now on high alert and plotting how we will avoid a screaming match regarding bed vs chair slumber. 

J and I have both been up against the wall with this predicament and we devised a plan (I think after multiple glasses of wine one night). We both do our best to talk up the highlights of the day and the beauty that surrounds us in the master suite. Our mini series always ends with the fabulous comfort of the king size bed that belongs to the two of them. By this time he may be stroking the leather recliner and pointing at it stating that he sleeps in the chair and has always slept in the chair for 45 years. One night our reply became "no Dad, not in America. In America we sleep in beds not in chairs. And Dad, you're an American." Sometimes I almost hear the Star-Spangled Banner playing softly as we both chime in on our compliance with national guidelines. I'm not going to sugar coat this one, this scenario can get dicey. If this angle fails and fatigue is setting in we have been known to tip the chairs on end. Much like cow tipping, once the chair is capsized then it does not return to its functional position until the morning. 

Whatever it takes. Everyone sleeps in a bed in the USA. Please keep it that way. 

J What E glossed over with the "sometimes gets dicey" comment is that often we have to resort to WWII vernacular to get our dad in bed.  When he seems absolutely set on the chair as his venue for the night, we tell him that that is where the Commies and Nazis sleep.  This gets his attention at once, as he was a child during WWII and the Commies and Nazis were obviously the bad guys.  We say it with such derision that the chair almost seems to be spring loaded because he flies out of it so quickly.  We are not sure why it works, but it works.  Semper fi.